The 1^st One

She had a spring in her step, a smile on her face & carefree were her days. She loved the fact that she was popular with her friends (Girls & Boys), excelled at sports and was one fun daughter of mine!

Such is teenage life! And along comes puberty & the discovery of physical changes in one’s body, be it the hair growth or the evident presence of breasts. Breast Growth- sign of a woman, assets which became a liability for my girl. I could provide her with solutions for the excessive hair via waxing however I stumbled with probably the most important physical development which affected her emotionally. In some ways, it was unfair, because she was not as conscious as her friends as they noticed it, laughed at her & made lewd remarks, especially when she played her signature smash shots during volley ball matches. My bright happy girl stopped playing sports, avoided her favourite fitted tees and started to leave her hair loose on her shoulders. Something in her was not so happy and I failed to understand! The search mode came on and I googled with all possible key words. Initially I assumed, she was having issues with her friends but having taken her out for a drive and ice cream, I realised that was not the case. In more and more hours spent on trying to find a way out, I came across Teens & Bras! For a few days I keenly observed my daughter going about her routine and yes, there was an evident bounce which her existing bra didn’t seem to support. I also realised that at times, I could notice the bulge of her breasts even when she wearing a dark top. So this is what was troubling my angel. I searched more, spoke to experts in the field and obviously took my daughter on multiple shopping trips spending hours in a trial room! I had to bring back the smile in her life.

So here I am, post my research sharing with you tips & tricks I came across in choosing the 1^st bra for my teenage daughter!

1.      Ideal Materials: Teenagers lead hectic lives with school, classes and evening time with friends, running all over! So ideally one can pick cotton mixed hosiery as children find it easier to relate to it, are soft & comfortable. Given that our girls these days wear lots of party wear too, I also picked a few cotton + Lycra mixed to go with her fancy tops! What I really kept in mind was my girls comfort.

2.      Bra Style:

a.      My 1^st choice was sports bra/Tee-shirt bra. It is the most comfortable one to slip on & spend an entire day in. Often it’s akin to putting on a tee & yes, they provided complete coverage of the bosom too.

b.      2^nd choice was the multiway bra which could be worn in multiple combinations as strapless, racer back and halter depending on what my girl was going to wear over it. Definitely a money saver too!

c.      Cami top Bra: I would highly recommend this as it takes care of the need of a bra as well as a camisole. It is available in Cotton mixed fabrics & that is boon for translucent tops & the Indian summer season!

d.      Fashion Bras & Lacy ones are really not required at this age especially since they are in a growing phase. So for now, I skipped this one all together, though yes my girl has her eyes on few!

3.      Colours: We fought over it! Yes, she wanted neons, polka dots and all that jazz! I put my foot down. Given my daughters skin tone & her wardrobe, the safest colours are Skin, Nude, Black, light pink, grey and yellow. Though yes, I did pick a few others too, but my daughter herself has come to realise their utility when the polka & the stripes show through and has started to carefully pair her bras with her tops.

4.      The Right fit!

a.      There are essentially -2- parts to consider: Under Bust (band size) & Over Bust (cup size)

                                                    i.     Under Bust: this is that part of the bra that runs across the upper chest and around her back. Band sizes are generally 30, 32, 34, 36, 38 and so on.

                                                   ii.     Over Bust: Cups are what hold the bust. Cup sizes are alphabetic like A, AA, B, C, D, DD and so on.

So a size of the bra is a combination of the above 2. For example, 34B. It is extremely important to get both these sizes right for the perfect fit, coverage & support. I realised in my trials with my daughter that she was wearing the wrong cup size! Hence the bulge & lack of support!

5.      Signs of a wrong fit:

a.      The Bra band feels tight and uncomfortable around the ribcage.

b.      The band is too loose & rides up her breasts.

c.      Breasts are compressed and hence the awkward bulge/swell on the chest due to small sized cups.

d.      Large cup sizes wrinkle & create creases under the top and prevent a finished look!

So will all trials, experiments, hours in the trial room and google search I drew my check list for finding my daughters perfect fit!

6.      -2- Finger Test: Once she tried on a bra, I would ask her to insert -2- fingers just behind the hooks or at the centre of the bra on her back. If -2- fingers fit in comfortable, it was proven that the bra was neither too loose nor too tight!

7.      The band passed through the middle of the back & didn’t rise up creating an inverted V.

8.      Cups were comfortable, neither suffocating her nor allowing a freeway.

9.      I made her do her PT exercises of raising hands in all directions to check for spillage or bulges! Wanted to make sure my girl was completely covered!

10.   The straps should not dig into her shoulders leaving their mark behind.

11.   Now my daughter is a bit busty. Hence I also picked an under wire bra wherein the wire extended from the centre to the underarms to ensure full support—so yes, when your little angels grow, it will be time to invest in a good under wire bra too!

12.   Minimizers! Now this is where one has tread carefully! So because my girl was super conscious of her assets, she wanted a bra which would make her appear smaller. However, I had my concerns! It is like making Lemon Pickle where you try & squeeze in too many lemons in a jar hoping they will juice out and compress over time!

13.   Last but not the least, I learnt one major lesson—Maximum support to our assets must come from the band and not the straps! One mistake I too had been committing all my life!

The spring in her walk is back, she seems more confident, she is back in the game with her smash shots and friends no more mock. My girl is back to being the carefree angel she was, all because of a Bra! Yes, always seemed like the last pair of clothing to give much thought to but now I know better. Beautiful inside is Confident outside.

Hobby or Business?

I have come across so many women with so many skill sets developed as a child or over the years and yet they assume they are not skilled enough to pursue a career, a business or a life beyond their lovely homes, family and children. It worries me to think what will they do when the little birds will fly out & the nest will be empty? Women must work, pursue a hobby, not just for the money but more so for their sense of independent being.

Hobbies are recreational but have you ever thought of converting it into a career or a business? If yes, fantastic, if not, let us think over it and probe the very idea.

Questions to ask yourself:

1. Which skills or talents do I possess? Can it be tangible? More importantly, are people willing to pay for it? For example, can I cook really well? Can I cook for at least -50- people at one go? Is my cooking such that people will pay for it? Can I make candles which can stand apart? Can I make -100- candles in a week? Will people pay Rs.100 per candle for it? Question is- would you also pay for it? Can I write well? Am I comparable with the professional writers or can I hone my skills? Can I churn out content each day? 

2. Do you have the time, commitment, passion and a huge amount of discipline to engage yourself in your chosen hobby each & every day? Trust me, it seems it is easy to work from home, however, it is not so. At an office, you are physically away from home, family members & kids. You do not entertain sudden guests! Whereas at home, the maid, the kids, the neighbours, sudden guests, Television Serials, Phone calls, house chores and errands are constantly seeking your attention. Do you have the self-constraint in you to assign few hours strictly for your work when each family member knows not to disturb your space & time?

(Do not allow this to discourage you! It is a check which you need to make happen! One has to INVEST TIME.)

3. So you have zeroed down on your skill which will now be your business. My next question to you- Where will you showcase your work? Where will you sell? Via Facebook, Whatsapp, Word of Mouth, E-commerce Sites, Retail Shops, Wholesaler, Exhibitions, your own stand-alone store, Networking forums or will you create a mobile application for it? Yes! You need to showcase & sell where your Buyer is present or seeks your products & services.

4. When you fell in love, married, had a child or bought your new Jimmy Choo, did you not flaunt it to the whole wide world? Then why are you so conscious of wearing your skill on your sleeve and flaunting it? Wear it, be it, love it – it is an extension of your identity! Be your own Brand.

5. Are you content being a hobby free-lancer or wish to be a suave businesswoman? The attitude matters, it influences your thought process & your approach to your work. Believe me, there is absolutely nothing wrong in being a hobby free-lancer working as per one’s convenience. It is a personal choice and yes what you feel is right, is the right choice. 

(I technically work only -4- months a year, and yes, I couldn’t have been happier!)

6. Let’s do some Math! Can you align profitability to your chosen hobby? Yes, you have to make money not just to cover costs but also to reward yourself. A lot of women entrepreneurs forget to take into account the money value of their time, energy, labour and skills into the selling price of the product. Set a standard for yourself. 

7. Once you are a business woman, you aren’t just the Creative head. You also are the Office boy, Courier Boy, Receptionist, Sales Team, Purchase Team and the Accountant! So, set yourself up for the challenges and enjoy these new roles of your life! People’s Skills is what will get you through all this. Ability to connect with various people. Essentially, Business is all about Networking with the right resources and delivering work!

8. A lot of women entrepreneurs shared with me that they do not wish to manufacture & sell. Selling & customer relationships is not their forte and it is a time consuming process too. If you too have a similar thought, my question to you then is- Can you TEACH your hobby and make that into a business for yourself? Share your skill sets, train others & enable them to manufacture and sell? Think over it!

9. Now, let us think differently. You love to cook. However, due to constraints of any kind, you do not wish to actually cook & sell. Can you convert your knowledge, ability to network into an Intellectual Property? Can you not create an event around food, associate with stake holders like chefs, nutritionists, vegan followers, food bloggers, food photographers, foodies, eateries etc. who would benefit from such an event, invite participants, execute it each year and create your own brand with it?

(If you decide to do this, we at Businesswali expect an invite!)

10. An extremely important question- Do you have the initial funds available to kick start the business? Yes, make an estimation of required funds, consider time lag of receiving payments, keep a buffer for delayed payments & advance payments. Set a target & work towards it.

11. Now the big one- Scan the market for your competition & beat them! Yes, all said and done, if you take up something, be the best you can be, be known for it & demand a price for it and don’t forget to make profits!

So, why wait, let’s get started and create a bit of us! Good Luck!